Life In General

21 Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say… And Then I Became A Parent

  1. Why is there a half-eaten peach in the fruit basket?!?
  2. Why is there a half-eaten apple in your room?!?
  3. The Tooth Fairy left a message. She couldn’t come last night because almost every kid in the world decided to lose a tooth yesterday, so she’s kinda backed up right now.  She promises to come tonight!

(In reality, Mom kind of, erm, forgot!  Hey!  It was my first time as a Tooth Fairy!!)

  1. If you stay awake until the end of Bible study, you can have a piece of candy!!

(Side note on this; we live very close and she had ridden her trike over. There was NO WAY I was going to haul it home while she had a comfortable ride in the stroller!)

  1. Do!! NOT!!! Color your sister with markers or anything else!!!!!
  2. Your sister is a real live human being, not a doll!
  3. You are not her mom! I am!
  4. Because! I’m the Mom and I said so!
  5. What are you doing on top of the fridge?!?
  6. Yes, you may wear a princess dress for pajamas.
  7. Yes, you may wear a princess dress to the grocery store.
  8. Please put leggings on, I can see your undies through that tutu!
  9. Telling the waitress in the restaurant that one of my kids wants “panpakes.”
  10. Asking the receptionist if I can take the “mazagine” with me into the exam room.
  11. Where is my (insert kitchen utensil here)??
  12. Why are you using my (insert kitchen utensil here) with your Play-Doh?!
  13. Why are you wearing underwear on your head?!?
  14. What are you doing with the honey outside??
  15. Why do you need to smear honey on the railing?!
  16. Why do you want to play with bees?!?
  17. CAN YOU PLEASE FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET THE BEES AWAY FROM THE DOOR!!!!
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4 thoughts on “21 Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say… And Then I Became A Parent

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