Life In General · Misadventures

Top 10 Reasons The Snacks You Chose Won’t Work For Your Child

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Snack time rolls around and your child is starving RIGHT NOW because his/her stomach has turned inside out and is EATING ITSELF!!!  At this moment you think they would glad for sustenance, ANY sustenance, so long as it’s edible.  That’s where you’re wrong, Mama Bear (or Papa Bear), because:

10. YOU, not your poor, starving, about to die offspring, chose what snack he could have.

9. You didn’t give her at least 5 choices to ponder over for 15 minutes only to ask what else she can have to eat.

8. It’s not a cookie.

For shame. *tsk*

7. It’s not chips.

Get it together here!

6. It doesn’t contain at least one ingredient that makes vegans, raw foodies, Paleo diehards, and general healthnuts alike gasp in horror.

(I count myself in one of the groups listed.)

5. It was his favorite yesterday.

And that was so yesterday, ifyaknowwhatimean.

4. You don’t have her favorite snack and now you will be the reason she has an emotional concussion fortherestofherVERYshortlife!!!!

(I really wish I could claim originality for that condition!!!)

3. Raisins. Raisins!!!  You mean, Barbie’s dog’s poo.

2. There’s no box. Why didn’t it come out of a box?  WHY is there NO BOX?!?!?

And the numero uno reason why the snack you chose is completely unacceptable to your child

1. It’s… healthy!!

*child’s eyes roll up to back of head and said child faints dead away*

Or throws a trantum on the floor.

Whichever.

The next time you offer your darling… your progeny… your future anything less than cardboard box-like nutrition, think of the consequences.

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